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Coach
June will address an inquiry from those wishing to manifest their
dreams into goals -- submit yours today. In submitting an inquiry you
will also have a 30 minute coaching session free
with Coach
June! Offered to anyone who has not coached with her before.Coach June is an expert article writer at EzineArticles. Read what she has to say...
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Question
from Natalie, Manhattan New York City:
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Dear
Coach June:
There
is someone that I really like at work, but am afraid to show him my
feelings. As of recent he's asked three times in a teasing manner if I
like him. It put me on the spot and I pushed him away in fear of
rejection. Why doesn't he just ask me out instead of asking me if I
like him? I'm 30 years old and have never had a serious
relationship with a man. What can I do to open myself up to love? How
do I attract a loving man right for me? Looking forward to your
thoughts.
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Dear Natalie;
I
chose your letter as an example of how coaching can used to meet
personal goals and not only professional ones. The man might be asking
you because he too is fearful of rejection. But our focus will not be
on him. It will be on you and reaching your goal of having a loving
relationship. Many people fear rejection and intimacy, but it does not necessarily stop them having love relationships.
For the sake of clarity let's discuss coaching and therapy. It is clear
that you have had past traumas with men regarding trust and most likely
for you, rooted in childhood. A therapist could help you connect with
that time and heal the pain. Therapy is based on healing unhealthy
thinking and acting. Coaching is not therapy although it can, and does
help in righting actions to lead a fulfilling life. A
coach presuppose that the client is in a healthy mental state
and prepared to launch a plan for attaining valuable goals. If at any
time I realize that my client would benefit from therapy, I
suggest it. My coaching thoughts follow: I sense that you are
professionally grounded and focused. I will want to know what decisions
and steps you took to attain your professional position. Those can be
used to forward your personal goals too. At that time we
would clarify your personal values to build from when developing a love
relationship. This would become the foundation of your goal. Next time
lines as we move forward with a plan of action. This decision will then
cause your fears to manifest clearly. We will learn, not only why and
what you are thinking, but how that creates certain actions to prevent
love from coming into your life. In other words, your fears are exposed
and as your coach I will hear the "whys" as I call them or the reasons
you can't get what you want or act on the goal. Fears are the
biggest and strongest reason why people don't live a fulfilling life.
It takes a brave soul to move beyond them. Of course, moving with
calculated risks most of the time. As a coach I have to listen
carefully to your reasons to determine what is fear and what might be
reasonable and timely. To learn the answers we must discover them. And
this is done by developing sub-goals to forward your goal. To better
understand this process do this exercise. Take a sheet of paper. Draw
on the far left side a circle. In it write "me." Dress yourself
up if you'd like. A few inches away draw another circle. In that write
your goal which is "love relationship." Again inches away draw a square
box with "fear of rejection" inside - once again move over to draw
another circle with "sub-goal" in it. Under write begin "my values" and
list four values that support your main goal. Answer: does this man
meet your values? This is gives you back the power of choice rather
than keeping you back from love by asking, "why doesn't he ask me out?"
Sub-goals are necessary
small stepping stones to a goal. They
are an opportunity to address one's fears, challenges and
uncertaintie as well as learn the value of the goal. Step-by-step, you
and I will creep along and at times,
leap, forward to your goal. While we are doing
that you will write daily affirmations that support and give life to
it. I will teach you how to write powerful and life changing
affirmations that use words to enhance your mental images. Simple clear
words like I AM creating, I AM opened, I trust, I have faith, I create
etc. Perhaps you can start with I AM WORTH LOVING (Louise Hay "You Can
Heal Your Life" affirmation.) Then I will guide you in
creating personal affirmations. You will learn how to love
yourself, life while developing faith that love is a divine gift
that you are
worthy to receive.
Coach
June
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Note:
We reserve the
right to post any questions received from this link.
Please contact June by clicking here.
You can reach us any time at: june@sfcoaching.com
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